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Welcome to these W. Somerset Maugham Love Quotes from my large collection of Love Quotes and Love Sayings. I hope you enjoy these Love Quotes by W. Somerset Maugham.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
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