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Jokes Quotes and Sayings
Quotes about Jokes and Love

Welcome to these Jokes Quotes from my large collection of Love Quotes and Sayings. Please enjoy these Quotes about Jokes and Love.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Friendship Relationship

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton


It's the teenage and university crowd,
so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
- Keenen Ivory Wayans

You can't just yell jokes at people.
- David Cross

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly -
constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour.
It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando

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A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff.
But most of it was all character situations leading
to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.
- Shawn Wayans

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
- Dylan Moran

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
- Mitch Hedberg

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

Times change.
The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
- Carey Williams

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
- Larry Gelbart

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy
of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads,
where they are safe.
- Emo Philips

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more
my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

I like to hold the microphone cord like this,
I pinch it together, then I let it go,
then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
- Mitch Hedberg

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done
for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
- Ron White

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character,
the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
- Neil LaBute

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes,
the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
- John Lasseter

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter.
Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation
than trying to make the English laugh.
- Malcolm Muggeridge

Writing for young children I find I often use particular
jokes with words and exaggerated,
funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex
stories for older children too.
- Margaret Mahy

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy.
He plays a lot of practical jokes.
- Ashley Tisdale

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen,
see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent -
no jokes in it for the parents!
- Dick Bruna

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change.
They stay the way they were in the past.
Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
- Corey Feldman

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school
because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
- Megan Fox

I'm not a standup.
I don't really have jokes.
I don't have 10 minutes.
It took a while for me to realize this.
- Julia Sweeney

The best ideas come as jokes.
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy

I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave.
I'm just a regular boy who goofs around,
pulls pranks, and makes jokes.
That doesn't sound very hot to me.
- Jensen Ackles

Everyone for the most part is really nice.
There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight.
You can't make everyone completely happy.
- Tina Yothers

Jokes are better than war.
Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars.
Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
- George Mikes

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers,
are the bond that keeps most families alive.
- Stella Benson

The main jokes in this film are about big things,
love and life and zombies - we all get that.
- Simon Pegg

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense.
And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
- Judd Nelson

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age,
telling the same joke again and again.
Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
- Simon Le Bon

Jokes are grievances.
- Marshall McLuhan

I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even
common jokes as part of what I'm doing.
I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
- David Antin

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
- Jim Fowler

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
- Graham Kennedy

My dog was with me all the time.
I talked to my dog.
She was my best buddy.
I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think
I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
- Cathy Guisewite

I don't like jokes in speeches.
I do like wit and humor.
A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
- James Humes

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues
if there is some dissent,
some conflict.
- Mo Rocca

I guess they're tough jokes.
But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at.
And you just can't cry.
- Sam Kinison

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
- Robert Frost

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion,
where you're allowed to make jokes.
I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
- Boy George

People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
- Sanaa Lathan

I never believe them when they say that because you
really have to sort of be aware of what's going on
in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
- Samantha Bee

Comedy, at least the way I write comedy,
is just drama with jokes.
- Rob Walton

Wit is a weapon.
Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority.
But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin,
usually in solitude.
- Frank Muir

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in
the wee hours of the morning.
Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
- Seth MacFarlane

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes.
I want my life to mean something.
- Steve Harvey

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy,
and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
- Kathy Griffin

If you want anything done well, do it yourself.
This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
- Bob Edwards

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
- Eugene Ionesco

You can trust a Neil Simon script.
Every dot.
Every dash; that pause means something.
He takes all the jokes out, practically.
- Hector Elizondo

Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely
turn their backs on their historical dishes,
no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
- Nick Clooney

The thing about all good horror movies is that the
fans expect a couple of inside jokes.
Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it,
but it was really fun.
- Margot Kidder

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did
not understand some of the jokes.
- Desi Arnaz

I love life in spite of all that mars it.
I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you,
father.
- Mary Todd Lincoln

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use,
from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
- Thomas Aquinas

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day,
your mind starts going to strange places.
- Seth MacFarlane

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
- Zac Efron

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive
thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying
to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
- David Cross

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
- Brad Garrett

I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd,
at times - maybe some would say dirty -
jokes.
But in jest.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now,
we would probably forget you were there,
we'd just be cracking jokes.
It's like Beavis and Butthead.
- Nikki Sixx

The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show,
write all the dialog, and decide the mood,
action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.
- Craig McCracken

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings.
You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
- David Letterman


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