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Funny Relationship Love Quotes
Funny Relationship Quotes about Love

Welcome to these Funny Relationship Quotes from my large collection of Love Quotes and Sayings. Enjoy these Funny Relationship Quotes about Love.

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Related topics: Friendship Relationship Cute Whimsey Funny Favorite-Quotes

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes


At the beginning of a relationship
we are attracted to the other person because
we think they are sexy, smart, funny -
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

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Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson


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Quotes about Love



 


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